There’s a truth so startling that I just have to say it:

You deserve to be happy.

Not just in a rock concert, birthday-candle sort of way. Not like a temporary worker who shows up now and then, but always wearing a different uniform, a different pair of glasses.

We’re talking real joy, the lasting kind that makes you throw back the covers when you wake up in the morning and start the day with wonder rather than dread. The kind that doesn’t always look happy, but is there somewhere under the surface even when your spouse backs into the basketball hoop pole or your dog eats a whole bowl of chocolate Easter candies. Or when you find out on the same day that you’re not getting a raise and your child needs braces. Or even when—and we realize these events can shroud joy in an invisibility cloak for a long, long time—you go through a divorce or a loved one dies.

This truth is so powerful, so radical, that we want you to say it out loud:

“I deserve to be happy.”

Scary, isn’t it? Did you feel your throat constrict? Did you feel a little tug in your abdomen?

Hopefully there’s a piece of you that’s saying, “Yes, that’s right. I do deserve to be happy.” That message may be loud and clear, or it may be meek and muffled, like it’s been held hostage in a James Bond movie your whole life. Either way, this blog is about remembering the truth: You deserve to be happy.

This may be in direct conflict with what you’ve been taught, and you may not even know it. We’re bombarded every day with fear-based messages that support suffering and sacrifice. Even well-meaning messages can be insidious, such as…

“You’d better start saving for retirement now, or you’ll never have enough.”

“Who do you think you are?”

“You’re probably going to get Alzheimer’s.”

“Sure, being a musician may be what you want to do, but you can’t make any money at it.”

“You’re wearing that?”

Or, one of my favorites, from my long-distant past. In the morning, when I was putting on makeup, my ex-husband used to say, “It won’t help.”

The fact that he’s my ex-husband reveals that even when I felt the least attractive, the least powerful, the least lovable and worthwhile, something in me still remembered the truth: I deserved to be happy.

That’s what this blog is about: To help you remember that truth and feed it like you’re stoking a fire. The spark of joy, of creativity and passion and desire, never goes out, no matter what you’ve been through in your life. And it’s the key to your success, your peace, your abundance. Because—and here’s another radical truth—joy is not only what you deserve, it’s the essence of who you are. That’s your True Nature—staying true to yourself no matter what the world says you should do, say, or be.

Being true to yourself starts with paying attention:

  • Notice what you’re doing as you go through the day.Which activities reflect your desires and beliefs? Which ones are you doing because someone said you should, you have to pay the bills, you’ve always done it this way, or it was on your calendar?Make a mental note or jot down when you feel most alive today. This is the beginning…a great place to start in rediscovering your true nature.


  1. Beautiful Deb. The site, the post, you! So lovely to connect with you today. Here’s to possibilities that make our cells dance!

  2. The part that most resonated with me was that even at the worst moments, there was a part of you that hung on to the belief that you deserved to be happy. I believe that hanging on to hope is crucial. When we lose hope, then what’s the point? Thanks for the reminder to keep working toward the short and long term goals of happiness!

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